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We don?t have cable.In fact, no one in our family in this state has cable.And on those occasions when we do watch The Tube, it?s always some sort of sitcom or maybe a forensic-anthropologist-and-FBI-agent-crime fighting drama.But not so long ago, while staying in a hotel, I got sucked into one of those daytime Real Housewives marathons.Oh boy.
First of all, who in the world came up with the name of this show?From what I saw, not a single woman was ?real.?One woman was having plastic surgery as part of the show.There were weaves being pulled by acrylicedfingernails.Hair dyed.Hair bleached.Ridiculously drawn on eyebrows.The number of faux tans made me wonder if the tv needed the color adjusted because everyone looked like an Oompa Loompa castoff.No, real is not the first thought to come to mind.
Then there?s the ?Housewives? part of the title.They have maids and nannies to care for their households, and some aren?t even married.It seems to me that part of the definition of being a wife is to be married to someone? anyone.From my short, highly edited glimpse into these lives I gather that they shop a lot, spend an inordinate amount of time grooming or being groomed, and drink wine while gossiping about each other and planning parties.
I get it.Sensation sells.You can?t have a storyline without conflict and resolution.As far as entertainment goes, reality shows are among the lowest forms.But as a true housewife, a homemaker if you please, I take offense at the title and the ludicrous portrayal.SAHM, WAHM, MOTC? we should all be offended.
So why isn?t there a Real Housewives of the Piedmont Triad?I?ll tell you.
My day began around 4:30 this morning when the 00toddler climbed into bed with us.The next 3 hours were spent in a battle to maintain my place in our king sized bed with enough blanket to keep away hypothermia, all while nudging two snoring males and removing random limbs from my face.Then it was time for the noisy neighbor kids from down the block to rustle me from the bedroom with their unbelievable decibel levels.
Then my schedule followed a typical Thursday plan: work on homemade gift for some upcoming birthday/fundraiser/holiday; make breakfast; clean up said breakfast while assisting with the Thomas the Train puzzle; check emails, facebook, and TMN forums to make sure I am still alive; coloring with 00toddler, reading with 00toddler, making lunch for 00toddler, missing a play date with 00friend because 00hubs has the car today; baking a cake for a friend; baking breakfast bars; wrestling 00toddler for a nap; snack time for 00toddler; fit in a shower somewhere; plan and prepare dinner for the family; scrub a toilet or dust a shelf; more puzzles; more books; answer ?What happened to triceratops?? for the millionth time only to be told ?No, triceratops go to Costco.?Then there?s a family bike ride or walk, swinging and maybe a game.More books, more puzzles, probably and elephant parade through the house.Then it?s bedtime with prayers, one more book, and some snuggles.On a good day I might balance the checkbook, too.
Not once did I call a friend to discuss the financial struggles of another.I did not look up police records of anyone.I did not consult a psychic, medium, or spiritual guru.I didn?t get my teeth whitened or involve 00teenager in my conflicts with others.Are there people around here that I don?t like?Probably.Am I going to waste my time acting like a teenager because of that for other people?s entertainment?Um, no.
So the short answer to the question is simple.For the real housewives out there, our lives are just too boring for television.And for that, I am eternally grateful.
Ashley is the lucky mommy of the 00family and part of the TriadMommies community. She lacks the time management skills and cooperative two-year-old to properly maintain a regular blog, but you can see what she's crafting at craftalong.blogspot.com.
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One in four women do not feel adequately informed by their gynecologist, and almost half don?t take part in prenatal classes*. These women don?t realize the risk of being unaware about medical consumerism and what impact that can make on their pregnancy, labor and delivery. In a day where elective procedures such as unnecessary ultrasound and scheduling inductions and cesarean sections for patients? or doctors? schedule confl icts, it?s no wonder the CDC reports our Caesarean section rate currently at 31.8% in the United States**.
Doctors are educated and trained to know how birth works and we value them to handle emergencies. Yet with a healthy pregnancy, labor and delivery, their input should only be to complement us, not do it for us.
Women today are doing it all. We run companies, we own companies, we work construction, we run for President. We buy stocks, we sell stocks, we buy houses, we sell houses. We have proven ourselves capable of all this, yet we have taken a step back in our own health management - and that of our baby?s. We put so much time and effort into researching options and gas mileage when we are in the market for a new car but we don?t make educated decisions about our births.
We are made to birth our babies. Women are strong and can make healthy choices to give their babies the best start to their lives. Get informed. Be proactive. Your future generation depends on it.
Jeanette Albright lives in La Salle with her husband Aaron and three naturally birthed children. She is a SAHM, a ?retired? structural engineer, an affiliated natural childbirth teacher of The Bradley Method and the writer of Childbirth & Beyond?Naturally for BlogsMonroe. For more of Jeanette?s writing or contact information, visit www.blogsmonroe.com/childbirth. Jeanette is also the Site Administer for ToledoAreaMommies.
*Plataforma SINC
** National Vital Statistics Reports Volume 57, Number 12
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A Dad's Point of View: There Are No Perfect Friends I remember that one of my mother?s many sayings, when I was growing up, related to friends and went something like, ?If you want perfect friends, you won?t have any.? This was often in response to my irritation at what a particular friend had done. Later, more often than not, if my mom asked me if that particular thing my friend had done was resolved, I?d have forgotten what it was altogether. As with so many things our parents say to us, their advice often goes unheeded but comes back later in life to haunt us because of their truth. We could have saved ourselves much pain and embarrassment had we paid heed originally. My mom is probably laughing, somewhere high above, since her death two years ago, at the ?fun? I?m living with thanks to my two teenagers. As she may have said, ?What goes around comes around.?
My older teen basically has perfected the art of seemingly paying attention to me while singing in his head his latest favorite song. My younger one has just learned that talking back is the expected thing to do upon entering your teens, now that he?s a firm 13½. He not only talks back but also questions just about everything I ask of him.
If I could speak to her today, I would say, ?Mom, I?m sorry for all those times I talked back and all those times I disregarded your wisdom that had come from your considerable life experiences. Is there any way I can turn back the clock and make it all up to you so my kids don?t have to learn the same, hard way that I did?? And to my dad, I?d say, ?Dad, why didn?t you tell me more forcibly that Mom was always right? Why did you just have that funny ?you?ll see? smile and keep your mouth shut while always saying, ?yes dear??? But enough of the self-recrimination and feeling sorry for myself. It?s just one of those ironies of life that my boys are repeating in so many ways the same mistakes my mother so diligently tried to protect me from, especially in regards to friends. My mother had so many friends and I just didn?t learn nearly enough from watching her interactions with them. She rarely talked about herself, but instead always seemed more interested in what her friends had to say or complain about. If a friend was in any sort of need, she was there. Her patience with those friends who didn?t reciprocate was monumental in my view, as a child growing up. But, she kept most of her friends for a lifetime.
I didn?t follow her example and sadly, I?ve lost some good friends along the way when I allowed hurt feelings or a long forgotten irritation of some sort to de-rail the friendship. Fortunately, I finally did learn what my mother so wisely explained, that there are no perfect friends. We?re all fallible human beings and to have much in the way of expectations of those we care about is sometimes just setting the stage for disappointment.
Another wise cliché is that we don?t choose our relatives, but we do choose our friends. Therefore, their loyalty is undoubtedly sincere if these friendships have been worked on and maintained over time. Yes, life circumstances may change, but memories and comfort with each other may not. I?ve found that in some cases, the changes in our lives were too much for the friendship to survive while in the case of my best friend since 10th grade, those changes didn?t seem to matter.
For my best friend and me, our lives went in significantly different directions after college in almost every area one can think of. He got married young at 23; I stayed single until I was 39. He had three children before I even married. He chose a conventional career; I chose showbiz. He moved to the suburbs; I stayed in the city. He celebrated his 25th wedding anniversary while I celebrated my 50th birthday with divorce papers. He recently moved out-of-state; I?ve stayed put. The examples abound between us. But, the connection we made in high school and college was true and deep. We used to think of ourselves as ?Frick and Frack.? I was the crazy one; he was the levelheaded one. Those differences worked for us as I encouraged risk-taking in him, while he got me to back away from bungee jumping from that helicopter. It was a good balance. Nonetheless, my mom?s advice regularly came to me about not expecting perfection from him. He is lousy with returning phones calls, exchanging lengthy e-mails, getting together often as our lives got busier, and other things that disappointed me. My choice, as my mother would?ve said, is to not have him as my friend due to these failed expectations and wishes of mine, or to accept him for who he is, not who I wish he were. That is the lesson I?m trying to teach my boys regarding their friends. Will they learn from my failures in this regard and have a lifelong ?best friend? as I still do or will they lose some great friends along the path of life, as I also did? My guess is that they?ll do both--just as I did--and have to learn most of these lessons themselves in spite of my best efforts to save them the pain of going through this process.
Please listen to ?The Bruce Sallan Show - A Dad?s Point-of-View? Thursdays at 11:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m., PST on KZSB AM1290 in Santa Barbara or on the Internet via a live stream. For that link and all information about the show and Bruce, visit his web-site: http://brucesallan.com. Bruce?s column, ?A Dad?s Point-of-View,? is available in over 100 newspapers and web-sites worldwide. Find Bruce on Facebook by joining his ?A Dad?s Point-of-View? page: http://www.facebook.com/aDadsPointOfView. You can also follow Bruce at Twitter: http://twitter.com/BruceSallan.
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My friend, Serina, recently went to the dentist. She compared it to visiting the spa...and she is so right.
At first glance, you may be hard-pressed to make an association between a standard teeth-cleaning and a luxurious spa experience, but consider this...
You are away from your children, spouse, phone, computer, minivan, and home for at least 45 minutes.
The only way someone is going to contact you is if your child or spouse is on the way to the hospital.
Everyone is speaking in a low tone. You are addressed by your first name. Instrumental music is piped in, mingling with the quiet hum of a drill and the tinkling of laughter from the reception area.
No one is crying, "Mommy," screaming at a sibling, calling from the bathroom so you can wipe a bottom, or asking what's for dinner.
"Would you prefer strawberry or mint [flavor]?" the hygienist asks. She listens to your response and honors your request.
Compare to: "Can I wipe my boogers on you?"
"No! Get a tissue."
You later receive a nuzzling hug and realize when your child pulls back with a devilish grin, your clothes are glistening with...yup.
"Would you like a magazine?" You leisurely thumb through a fashion magazine or celebrity newspaper.
You are not reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear for the 20th time that day, or about preschool reviews, or holding a squirming toddler (trying to keep her from typing) while hurriedly scanning an email about a playgroup you might be able to squeeze in between naps and dinner.
"Would you like a glass of water?" You sip it.
You are holding something other than a sippy cup, and you really have the time to sip your water...slowly. You will not have to wash this cup later. Ahhh.
I think Serina was spot-on, and I can't wait for my next trip to the dentist!
This is a post by Jessie Rausch, stay-at-home mother of two wonderfully zany children. She blogs to preserve her cherished memories as well as her sanity. Come one, come all to the Rausch Family Circus!
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My Girlie Girlie is now 3. Next birthday I think she?ll be 15! When I was pregnant with her, we didn?t know if she was a boy or a girl (Racer?s choice ? I wanted to know). When she was born and we learned Girlie was a girl my response was ?What am I going to do with a girl?? I know how to handle boys. I know how to get boys to do what I want/need them to. I?m not so good with girls.
I suppose I?m figuring that out though. Parenting Girlie has been an interesting learning experience. I have learned a lot about myself in being Girlie?s mom. Why? Because she is just like me. Don?t get me wrong ? she looks just like Racer with her beautiful, big brown eyes. She acts just like me. Ask my mom and she?ll confirm that frustrating fact. Why frustrating? I?m not the easiest girl to get along with and put 2 of me together ? hair pulling, name calling and an all out cat-fight can ensue. In this case, I?m bigger, so I have the advantage (most days). So yeah, parenting myself has NOT been easy.
Girlie and I are both stubborn, opinionated, like to have things our way, smart, loving and sometimes manipulative creatures. Good thing I can see right through her act (Racer has a harder time and I don?t really want him to learn; then he?ll see right through my act too). We love life and can get overly excited and tired by too many things. We like to have our hand in everything and we are nosey. Hmm? curious sounds better doesn?t it? We are natural-born leaders and don?t like to be told what to do.
In parenting Girlie, I have been smacked in the face with the realization that I am the one modeling and showing her how to be a woman, wife and mother. That feels like such as awesome and daunting responsibility. There are so many things about myself that I want to change; I don?t want her to be how I am on many days. I hear her repeat what I?ve said to my other children or husband and I cringe. Wow, I want her to be kinder to my grandbabies. I want her to be a woman who loves Jesus so much and walks so closely to Him, that only love and joy come out of her actions and words. I want the world to look at her and see a reflection of Christ.
I suppose I should start there. When I start with self-change, then like a stone dropping into a pool of water, the change will ripple out from there.
I also, don?t have the full burden of raising my child. I have a community of believers that are also raising my children to be strong in their faith. I sure couldn?t do it without them. The church nursery workers give my Girlie love when she is small and learning to find church as a safe place. Her Sunday school teachers share all the great songs like ?Zaccheus? that I forget to teach her. The grandmothers in the church give her lots of love and hugs when Girlie?s own grandmothers live so far away. The preschool teachers gently teach her when it seems like my focus so many days is disciplining her. My friends love her enough to give her space to be herself without having the responsibility of being her parent. The Holy Spirit guides her, Jesus leads her and God gives her more love than I ever could.
I love being Girlie?s mom. It?s hard, however, I know ? I pray ? that someday, I will look at her parenting her own little girl just like her and think ?She didn?t turn out so bad after all.? And I?m a better woman because she is my daughter.
